Bobbing through the aisle, the book, tilting itself, seemed to think before lunging at its unsuspecting victim. It seemed to be looking at the sixty year old pervert that had been lounging about pretending to play chess while eyeing the group of teenagers gossiping over magazines. It nodded, which was a crazy notion as textbooks don’t float or think or nod, but this one did.. Suddenly, it dropped out of the air as if its puppet strings had been cut and landed directly onto the pervert’s head, knocking him out cold and killing him instantly. The teenagers looked up at the loud booming crack of his skull and shrieked, the piercing wails of the girls echoing through the ancient and cavernous library. The librarians rushed through the doors and just missed the sight of the APUSH textbook flying back up and bouncing off into another corridor, seeming somehow pleased with itself.
Ignoring the faint noise of police sirens, the book swished behind people hiding behind moving carts and underneath the desks surrounded by college students on caffeine overdoses. The textbook suddenly stopped dead in the middle of a hallway. It slowly turned like a scene out of a horror film right before the ditzy main character gets hit in the head with a hammer and the screen goes black.
The book, suddenly filled with newfound purpose, rushed through the aisle, sending pages flying and, before it could stealthily knock the person over the head like the other victim, failed to stop and crashed into the librarian’s head. He had been a new hire, guess it was time to join his grandparents down there. His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he was out cold before anyone could blink an eye. The book fluffed its pages and nodded approvingly.
The APUSH textbook had a penchant for killing men. It found men vile and figured it wouldn’t hurt anyone to kill a few. Then, taking a moment to contemplate its craftsman’s work, which was undertaken to good effect, the book flitted off again in search of a new kill, determined to meet its weekly quota.