CHARACTERS:
ROBIN, older mailman, has outdated ways of doing his job but has never missed
a package, drives an environmentally safe mail truck.
TYSON, young mailman who wants to do everything his way, environmentally neutral, confident.
MR. SANDERS, boss, about to retire, has no enthusiasm anymore.
MINOR CHARACTERS:
RADIO WEATHERMAN
HOTEL MANAGER
NEWSCASTER
PLACE: The rural farm town of Karlstad, Minnesota, population 748.
SCENE 1:
Tyson and Robin are discussing the upcoming winter in the post office break room.
TYSON
You better step your game up, old man. My new truck has four-wheel drive to survive the toughest winters this town can dish out.
ROBIN
I don’t care about speed. I’ve never missed a delivery in my eco-friendly truck.
TYSON
Why should you care about the environment? You’re so old you won’t be here in ten years.
ROBIN
You better wa−
(MR. SANDERS enters the room and cuts ROBIN off.)
MR. SANDERS
All right you two, that’s enough. Having to listen to you bicker makes me want to retire right now now instead of next week.
TYSON
That much sooner for me to take over your job! Why don’t you just tell Robin now that you have me in mind? I mean, we all know I’m the one. Just cut to the chase.
MR. SANDERS
Actually Tyson, I thought that we’d have a little fun with this. Whichever one of you delivers a package to St. Paul and makes it back first wins.
ROBIN
St. Paul? What are you crazy? There’s a major storm coming west and that’s hundreds of miles away. That’s suicide!
TYSON
What’s the matter Robin? Scared your old tin can won’t be able to make the 680 mile round trip? I’d be worried too if I had to drive that piece of junk.
MR. SANDERS
Well Robin, what’ll it be? I don’t have all day here.
ROBIN
I’ll do it, but not for the job. I just want to see the look on his face when I win!
(Points at TYSON)
MR. SANDERS
That’s the spirit! Once you get to St. Paul, you’ll find a package at the post office for each of you. Deliver it and then come back to claim your prize. Good luck!
SCENE 2:
Robin sets out for his long journey to St. Paul. Within a few minutes, snow begins to fall.
RADIO WEATHER MAN
Hello Northwestern Minnesota! If you’re listening to this, get off the road! There’s a record high number of accidents in the region and it doesn’t look like there will be any letting up, at least for the next 12 hours. Our forecast here at HLZK Minnesota predicts 35 inches of snow. The government has called for a state of emergency and schools all over the state are closed. To sum it all up, be safe! Next up on our show we have the amazing woman from Blackfoot who claims to have survived three plane crashes!
(ROBIN clicks the radio off and turns on his headlights.)
ROBIN
Man, I can barely see a thing through all this snow. I better get off this highway and call Tyson. I know he wants to win but he’s crazy if he continues in this.
(ROBIN pulls off to a nearby motel, parks his mail truck and hustles inside.)
Hello? Anyone here?
HOTEL MANAGER
Can I help you?
ROBIN
Is it okay if I use your phone?
HOTEL MANAGER
Sure.
(Hands ROBIN the phone. ROBIN hastily punches in TYSON’s cell phone number.)
ROBIN
Damn it Tyson pick up!
(As he is pleading with TYSON to pick up, a voice comes over the local news channel.)
NEWSCASTER
I’m live from route 364 in Northwest Minnesota where a freak snowstorm has caused a mail truck to flip over the guardrail and roll into the woods 30 feet below. With the police being advised to stay off the roads, this doesn’t look good.
ROBIN
God that’s Tyson!
(to HOTEL MANAGER)
How far away is that?
HOTEL MANAGER
In good weather five minutes. But with this snow you’ll never make…
(Before she can finish ROBIN is out the door.)
ROBIN
Why can’t you just be sensible for once Tyson? Why does everything have to be a competition?
(ROBIN finally pulls up to the scene of the accident. He is the only one there beside the newscaster who is still reporting. He starts to run toward the spot of the accident.)
NEWSCASTER
Hey stop!
(ROBIN doesn’t respond but shimmies down the embankment. Finally he reaches TYSON, still alive, trapped inside the mail truck surrounded by smoke.)
TYSON
Robin, help!
ROBIN
Hold on Tyson, let me just grab−
(TYSON is surrounded by smoke inside the car as fire starts to ignite. ROBIN strenuously drags TYSON out of the truck. He is covered in ashes and can barely stand.)
TYSON
Why did you come back for me?
ROBIN
Tyson, a real mailman never leaves a comrade behind. Now come on, we’ve got a delivery to do!
TYSON (Holding his forehead dramatically)
No, I can’t.
ROBIN
Yes you can! You have been talking about beating me ever since−
TYSON
I don’t want the stupid promotion.
ROBIN
What? Have you lost your mind, kid?
TYSON
Trapped in this damn truck, I realized I don’t want to be a mailman for the rest of my life. Maybe it works for you, but I want to do something that actually matters. What if I ended up like you, working the same job for how many years without a promotion? People like you are−
(Before he can finish his sentence, ROBIN punches him in the face sending him falling back into his smoldering truck.)
ROBIN
You know what Tyson? I don’t care what you or anyone else thinks, I take pride in what I do. Yeah I’m a mailman. I’m the best damn mailman Northwest Minnesota has ever seen!
(ROBIN picks up the muttering, cursing, semiconscious TYSON, puts him over his shoulder and slowly carries up the hill to the NEWSCASTER and puts him down. TYSON passes out.)
NEWSCASTER
Oh my god, ladies and gentlemen it appears we have a hero on our hands. Sir, do you mind telling us what just happened?
ROBIN
One of my own was in need so I sprang into action. The entire time I was carrying him up the hill, before he passed out, he kept thanking me and telling me he owed me his life. But, I was just doing my job−
(As ROBIN finishes talking TYSON’s truck explodes in the background and an ambulance pulls up. ROBIN leaves TYSON and quickly jumps in his own truck.)
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a package to deliver.
NEWSCASTER
Well, there you have it. A mystery mailman saves the day and goes back to work in a blizzard. The old motto must be true: Neither snow nor rain nor blown up trucks can prevent these guys from delivering your mail.